Op-ed: New York must protect my right to visit my incarcerated mother

It was just Mother’s Day, but I haven’t been seeing much of my mom lately.
 

When you have a parent in prison, much of your relationship is built on letters, phone calls, and visits. These connections matter deeply, but nothing replaces face-to-face, in-person visits.
 

Since the correction officers’ illegal strike in February, I have only been able to see my mom once. The disruption caused prisons throughout New York to halt in-person visits, starting on February 20. Despite the strike ending, visits remain restricted to weekends, when conditions are crowded and chaotic. I work on Sundays, which further limits when I can visit my mother.
 

It’s not fair, and it’s why the state legislature must pass the Protect In-Person Visits (PIPV) bill, which would require all correctional facilities to offer in-person visiting during accessible hours and make sure that video conferencing never replaces face-to-face visits. My mom and I have built a relationship that relies on visits, and disruptions have placed a strain. It’s an indescribable hardship.
 

I remember visiting the Children’s Center when I was little. I can still see the shine in her smile when I walked into the room. I felt her love throughout our time together, and saw the pride in her eyes when I shared what I was learning in school. As I would leave, she would scoop me into her arms and hold me tight. I hoped she would never let go.
 

After graduating from high school, I moved to South Carolina. Although I made sure I always sent letters to keep my mom updated about my life, a mother’s love, while transcending time and space, couldn’t be felt as strongly from that distance. I returned home to be closer to my mom and start to advocate for her and others.
 

It’s great that we’re closer now, both physically and emotionally. Often, I have made spontaneous decisions to hop on a train to see her. The ache subsides for a while until I hug her and feel her warmth.
 

Since the strike, these impromptu visits have become impossible. Even with visits partially available, I’m limited to brief windows on weekend days — which are not accessible due to my work schedule. Although I eagerly wait for her calls, nothing replaces in-person visits.
 

The PIPV bill is so important to others like me and to the thousands of NY families affected by incarceration. The bill would provide security in knowing I could see my mom whenever I feel an urgent need for her presence. The legislation would guarantee accessible visiting hours, including evenings and/or weekends. It also, importantly, ensures that video calls cannot replace in-person visiting. There is nothing like hugging and being hugged by your mom. Thousands of mothers and daughters, fathers and sons would benefit from this law.
 

Growing up with my mom in prison, we’ve built our bond with all the connection points available to us. Those visits, that precious time together, feeling her touch — all have strengthened our relationship, making it possible for me to know her love. We must protect this right for my family and all the children missing their mothers on Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, and beyond!
 

LaQuintae Bradley is a consultant and student who lives in Washington Heights. Her mother has been incarcerated for 26 years, since she was 4 years old.

 

Read the article in its original format here.